I Make Friends With the Postmistress

C. is a God-send. I think how it could have been different. I think how I may never have met C., how she may have never become a regular source of comfort, wisdom, practical help. I think how thankful I am it turned out this way.

When I bought the house in the country and was figuring out what to do for mail delivery, there was some confusion: all the residences in the county had just been re-addressed for emergency purposes, i.e. some homes previously had no numbers assigned to them, but now they all did, so that the 911 system could map every residence (I still don't think my house shows up on googlemaps, though). As a result, postal delivery was also re-assigned, but somehow I got lost in the shuffle. There are three post offices within a couple miles of my house, and I was told to "pick one." No matter which I chose, I would have to request special mail delivery, i.e. my house is on no particular postal route, the mail carrier would have to make a special trip; and I would have to install a mail box. I called around, and C. was the first postmistress to answer my call and be helpful; so I picked her post office. I decided not to install a mailbox but to keep a PO Box instead. I thought, it would not be a bad thing to have to make a trip out once in a while, to have a regular errand to run, regular human contact. Plus, C.'s post office shares space with the local general store, where we get the paper and other household staples.

C. has been the postmistress in M.town for about 6 years. Prior to that, she lived in the city. She went back and forth as a weekender for a year, then decided to make the move. She lives alone, in an old farm house with a lovely brook running right through her property. She has three dogs. She's about a half a mile from me and drives by my house on her way to the post office every day. On her lunch hour, she drives home to let the dogs run loose, and I'm often out for a walk at that time, so me and the pup will get out the way and wave as our friend drives by.

C. has been my go-to on everything from gardening tips (she dug her own large garden - no easy task for one person - and amended her soil every year with manure wheelbarrowed down from the farm up the hill, and now grows almost all her own produce), to snow-shoveling, to animal care, to river wisdom. She leaves her canoe out on her front lawn and has offered it for our use "whenever" (we've taken her up on it once). Last winter, when I was snowed in, she delivered my mail to my house for me and kept calling Mike the Snowplower until he actually did show up. She tells me that you can enclose your porch with heavy plastic and turn it into an instant February-March greenhouse. She made the city-to-country transition all alone, she taught herself everything she knows about house and yard maintenance, what do for frozen pipes, you name it. She tells me that her first year here, her staircase caved in and she literally googled "How to Replace a Staircase," went to Home Depot, and did it herself. She has also felled trees with a hand saw (and a friend). C. is my hero.

Today, I pick up my mail, and we chat about how quickly the summer goes, and all the chores facing us as fall and winter loom. We commiserate about how difficult it is, dealing with the relentless repair and maintenance work on a house, when you don't have the money to hire out, the weather is harsh and unforgiving, and you're alone. I am alone only part of the time, she is alone full-time. Did I mention that C. is my hero? "It's really hard," she says. "I love my house, I love my garden, my dogs are happy, but sometimes, don't you just think, What am I DOING here? One thing I realized is that you really have to rely on yourself; because no one else will do it for you."

Hard-earned words of wisdom from kind and generous C.

And then, of course, there's P. the Librarian. Last week she called, because one of the books I'd requested for reserve had arrived and had been waiting for me for over a week (I hadn't had a chance to get over there, I was marooned in the city because of some work appointments). The reserve request was about to expire, but she wanted to make sure I got it if I still wanted it. So she left a message saying she'd hold it another few days for me. And now, I have my Balthasar & Blimunda. Thanks, P. What would I do without you.

It can be harsh and lonely out here, but these one or two people looking out for you - it really just makes all the difference. Yes, we are alone and have to rely on ourselves, but we are relying on ourselves together.